Saturday, November 16, 2013

Unofficial Music Club Hall of Fame II: This Time It's Personal

Congratulations Bruce Springsteen! 
Because the process involved in the induction of Elvis Costello proved to be be as intoxicating as the extraordinarily aerated wine we were drinking, it was decided we would bring another artist into the UMCHoF fold. There were also perceived slights, both imagined and very real, in the first induction that many felt needed to be avenged. Some members were upset that Pink Floyd was so unceremoniously denied a nomination in the early rounds of the first induction. They became paranoid when PinkFloyd was discarded in the second nomination process. The whole nomination process was called into question when Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Son Volt, the Gossip, and Radiohead were all nominated in a second time. Why was Feist and Flight of the Conchords even eligible? Why are we even debating whether Band of Horses deserves induction over Depeche Mode? 

Bruce made short work of Lyle Lovett. Radiohead in the Elite 8 (Grape Ape) was no competition. It wasn’t until the semi-finals when Bruce faced off with the formidable Johnny Cash that debates took an exasperated, pleading tone. Some members took objection to the fact that while Mr. Springsteen was obviously very talented and influential, he none the less had no right challenging Mr. Cash in such an audacious and insolent manner. It was stated that without Johnny Cash there would be no Bruce Springsteen. It was subsequently stated that that was utter bullshit. That while Mr. Cash was obviously very talented and influential, he none the less had no right challenging Mr. Springsteen in such an insolent and audacious manner, without Bruce Springsteen there would be no Johnny Cash. Again, bullshit was rightly called. No it isn’t. Yes it is. No. Yes. No. For maybe 20 or 30 minutes this continued until finally a deciding vote was cast. If you disagree, Jay cast that deciding vote. 

Personally, I think if Elvis Costello had been present when he won over Madonna, he would have laughed and laughed. Then he would have whipped out his guitar and sang a medley that started with “I Want You”, segued into “Crazy For You”, which segued into “Vogue”, which finally ended with a rousing version of “Lipstick Vogue.” Then he would have laughed some more while dedicating his win to Lady Gaga and singing a couple of lines of “Born This Way”. If Bruce Springsteen had been present when he moved on to the finals instead of Johnny Cash, he would have been horrified. He would sung a mournful version of  “Ring Of Fire” and said without that song he would never have written “I’m On Fire” or any of the Nebraska album. Then he would have wept. Poor Bruce.

Then Bruce Springsteen went up against Stevie Wonder. Music Club members were mostly exhausted and grumbling over the previous round. Bruce could still be heard sniffling in bathroom. Three votes were cast for Bruce and two for Stevie Wonder. Again, the last vote, the vote that decided if Bruce won or a tie necessitated a more lengthy debate which to tell you the truth, no one was prepared for. Unfortunately for Mr. Wonder, Jay was told that one of the two songs used to make Mr. Wonder eligible was “Isn’t She Lovely.” Jay immediately voted for Mr. Springsteen. Thanks a lot Eric.

Bruce was made eligible thanks to a Deep Dive/ Triple Shot of songs entered by Deb, “The Ghost of Tom Joad,” “Thunder Road,” and “Living Proof.” “Used Cars” was entered by Greg for the Modes of Transportation theme. “Sea Of Heartbreak”, a duet with Rosann Cash (Ooh, Burn!), was entered by Gina for a Roll-Your-Own theme. Interestingly (not really) Aimee Mann would not have been eligible had she not covered “Reason To Believe” with Michael Penn. Greg submitted that for our Covers theme.

Dry your eyes, Bruce. You deserve this whether you think you are worthy or not.


15 comments:

  1. Jim, I nominate you for Music Club Post of the Year, if only for the paragraph beginning "Personally, I think if Elvis Costello had been present..."

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  2. Yeah, I'm thinking of starting more sentences that way.

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  3. JIM! thank you for this, the aerated wine caused permanent memory loss as well as increased argumentativeness... and probable diminished Charm... I really appreciate the step by step walk through, but witouth detail I guess i'll aim my blanket apology to the entire group... as always, a fantastic evening, fantastic dinner and fantastic folks.

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  4. That's funny. Apologizing for the best Music Club ever.
    Did you submit "Reason To Believe", or was that Deb?

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  5. The meeting, the wine, the Hall of Fame, and the subsequent blog posting, is there a Hall of Fame for that, because it was epic. Thank you!!! Deb submitted Reason To Believe.

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  6. Sorry about not given the proper credit on the cover song. I have entered the corrections on the appropriate lists. I also cut off my pinky toe at the knuckle in penance.
    Bad news, that hurts. Like a lot.
    Good news, my shoe fits way better.
    Bad news, it's also filling up with blood.
    Good news, I like the shoe much better in red than the black it used to be.
    Bad news, Carol does not like the squishy sound it makes when I walk.

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  7. Stevie lost (sob) but wasn't John Richards hurt the most?

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    Replies
    1. John Richards obviously deserves every hurt he received.

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  8. I think it was very nice of you to pretend it was more than just me that was upset about the whole Pink Floyd thing.

    Goddamnit Larry, where are you when I need you?

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    Replies
    1. Failed you again my friend. But that doesn't you weren't 100% correct

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  9. Be careful what you ask for. If I was there to back you up, I'd also be insisting on crap like this for the Hall of Fame:
    +Best Song that sounds like math was involved:
    +Best Vocal Performance not Including anything by Keith Richards
    +Mother Freedom
    +Best Song Mentioning Buckhorn Beer more than Once
    and then I would lobby relentlessly to have another Female Singer Meeting so I could bring three songs by Sia.

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    Replies
    1. Well, it looks like we have the first 5 themes of 2014.
      What will I pick for Mother Freedom?

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    2. OK, I am more sober now. All I remember is that Blue Harvest by Pinback reminded me of math. Ronnie Wood singing Ooh la la was almost as good as Keith Richards if he would have sang it, Mother Freedom was bugging me because it was my favorite song for many years (probably before pot rearranged everything in 8th grade). Can't remember the Buckhorn song but it will come to me. And yes, I am really grooving on Sia.
      Fer reals.
      Anyway, you guys are a riot both on person and in prose. I miss that. - Leroy the Psychic banker

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  10. Then I would make you listen to One Day by Sharon Von Etten

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  11. In Bruce related news, this is art!

    http://dereklarson.net/index.php?/gallery/whos-the-boss-0118/

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